By worrying about our weight, our hair and everything in between, are we giving the wrong message to our daughters? One minute we are telling them to reach for the stars, become whatever they want to be, to go off and discover, and in the next breath we are convinced they have been murdered because they are late off the school bus. We tell them they are clever, funny, sporty and wise AND how great their hair, make up, legs or shoes are. Are we confusing them even more? My daughters are very aware of my insecurities, my endless bad hair days, bloated moods, wrinkles and carb-fests. To hide it from them wouldn’t be me, as one thing I do tell them to be is honest, not only with others, but with themselves. If they are not experimenting with clothes and endless YouTube make up tutorials, the best spot cover ups and hair styles, they tweet about Binky’s lank locks from Made in Chelsea, as if it’s the end of the world! I stress that beauty is within, but I also tell them that we are going out for dinner, so can they please make a bit of an effort! Confusing? You bet.
Laura Bates founder of everdaysexism.com has wise words. “Should we tell our daughters never to accept drinks from strangers and wear shoes they can run in, to avoid going out late or wear longer skirts? We should work to create a world where our daughters are as safe and respected as our sons; a world where they are not seen as prey, nor living with a one-in-five chance of becoming the victim of a sexual offence.”
She also quotes the things she would NEVER tell her daughter. “That’s not for girls”, “Take it as a compliment”, “Don’t rock the boat” and “That’ll go straight to your hips”. I hope she listens Laura.
We asked some of our Sugar women what they would tell a daughter ( or niece, god daughter or a young woman)…..
Get your own bank account. They drive you mad with money as they have no idea how much root touch-up costs.
You can do anything they can do, only better.
Remember to train a partner well. The Hoover and dishwasher are unisex.
Break the mould and go for it. It’s hard at the top, it’s hard for everybody, but if you really want it, it’s within reach.
I can think of few things worse than doing a downward dog with no knickers on. For starters, it’s unfair to fellow yogis, and secondly, yoga to me is all about the “snuggle” at the end. I love nothing more that putting the socks back on, wrapping the whiffy cheesy blanket around me and drifting off to the land of nod. Many a class have I been woken by an anxious looking teacher worried that I have snuffed it. I really only go to yoga to nap.
The latest craze of doing it all in the buff fills me with dread. I don’t sleep in the nude, so why would I exercise in it? For example, where would you stick your heel in Pigeon pose and imagine where it would all end up in a headstand? Plus, all that farting…..who isn’t guilty of a suppressed giggle when that happens? Imagine the stink, with no LuluLemon leggings to soften the blow, it’s enough to make you run into the arms of Warrior II.
Still yogis are claiming it’s amazing and liberating including one devotee from Bold and Naked. ‘There are a lot of things that separate us in a normal yoga class, like what brand of yoga clothing you’re wearing or how you look when you’re wearing it,’ says Vanessa Kennedy, a naked yoga class attendee. ‘But when we’re naked, it’s like we’re all the same.’ Yeah right, but your class may be full of mini Elle Macpherson’s, so my mat is staying firmly rolled up! Namaste.
It’s time to take up Zumba……..
This weekend many of us shall be celebrating all things “mumsy”. Love and thanks not just for the wonderful ever-deserving mothers, but to all the women who have touched our hearts, loved us, taken care of us, kissed grazed knees and cheeks and told us that it really will be alright when deep down, we know it won’t.
Some of us have great relationships with our mothers and take them to do fun things such as collect prescriptions, drop them off at the Odeon and take them to Aldi.
I speak to mine every day and she is a huge part of my life. She has endured much heartache losing my father and brother, yet still gets out of bed every morning and never leaves the house without her “face on”. When I have a “can’t be arsed stay in bed” day, I feel terribly guilty. She is full of life and loves to travel, dance, read and cuddle and is great at sewing buttons on school shirts. The advice she dishes out is always wise and in all my years, she has never once said I told you so, although I know she has wanted to! She also loves my laundry room. Wherever I have lived in the world, she has seen more laundry rooms than any other local attraction. I remember my neighbour asking me when mum was flying in. “She’s been here 3 weeks, go say hello, she’s in the laundry room!”.
Many of us are also mothers. Privileged and blessed, we are also knackered. Our bums are saggy due to time spent in cars ferrying our little darlings from footy to art class. Sometimes we lose track, wash the wrong kit for the wrong sport and buy birthday presents for classmates 10 minutes before the party, spending twice as much. There is just so much to learn, how do we know we are getting it right? What the hell is “chunking” in maths or an “embedded clause” in English anyway and does it really matter? We just have faith that we are doing an amazing job. We like to believe that we are the “cool” parents and surely the friends of our children think the same. Ours is THE party house where everyone wants to be – right? Yeah, right!
Being a mother is one of the most challenging jobs, yet there’s no job description and the money is dreadful! It’s a case of trial and error, tears and tribulations, but still nothing compares and once you’ve accepted the role, you can’t do a runner. One thing we never have as a mother (or a woman) is enough time.
It’s pretty rotten they take an hour away from us on our very special day, isn’t it?!
Here’s a few tips for making Mother’s Day a little rosier…….
If you can’t manage to get the flowers we really really want, Tulips are lovely. Daffodils too.
Blue chrysanthemums don’t cut it.
A cup of tea in bed is perfect. Try not to get distracted on the iPad or Xbox whilst brewing. Hot tea is best.
A homemade card is quite beautiful. If store bought, remember to take the price off and remember to sign it.
A poem about how we are The World’s Best Mum will make us cry.
Tickets for a trip, theatre or spa will really make us cry.
Making breakfast, lunch or dinner, emptying the dishwasher and general cleaning up will make us love you forever.
If we are staying at home because Paris is fully booked at this time of year, Prosecco is good or a nice G&T in the garden will work wonders!
Thanks for sticking around. It’s so great to see old friends again and welcome new ones. Sugar Group is all grown up! It will be bigger, brighter, sweeter and better than ever. We have made some great changes and are very excited about the future. Life is sweet. We hope you love our new logo as much as we do and we look forward to sharing our new “club” with you. In a world of information overload, we have hand picked some of the best in the business to share their expertise and knowledge with you. From face creams to cream teas, nail colour to networking, Sugar Group will let you in on the best kept secrets.
We connect the most interesting women, online and in person. Our events are relaxed, informal, and always fun; not a name badge in sight. We don’t make you work the room and “elevator speeches” are not our thing….but if you have something to shout about, we shall gladly listen. We share our contacts. We will introduce you to whoever you need, and help you in any way we can. We know that if we stick together and help each other, we can really make a difference! A cliché, we know, but one we truly believe in.
We have a lot planned, including guest blogs, things we love, great places to visit and gorgeous bits to buy. We shall be enjoying a cuppa with some exciting, successful women and finding out how they got to where they are today. We look forward to welcoming you to one of our fab events or connecting online. Remember it’s completely sugar free, so tell your colleagues,friends and every woman you know to sign up.